We learn to behave and what we should believe and accept as normal. Ruiz says that because we didn`t choose these rules and agreements, we should ask ourselves why we accept them and live according to them. I like what you say. If you were to write a book about your spontaneous agreements, I would read it. The third agreement describes the question of whether assumptions are made, how they lead to suffering, and why individuals should not participate in it. Accepting what others think can cause stressful and interpersonal conflicts because the person believes that their hypothesis is a representation of the truth.  Ruiz believes that one solution to overcome the act of adoption is to ask questions and ensure that communication between those involved is clear.  Individuals can avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama by not making assumptions.  I have read this and I fully understand the points he was trying to make. There is a little more support when you read the Voice of Knowledge. We learn everything when we grow up, some of what we „learn“ is not positive. Many of us have had parents who were young or abused ourselves, and we learn their habits and patterns of „beliefs“ by learning to count, talk, read, etc. Before the age of three, we don`t experience anger.
We repeat the actions of our caregivers and authority figures as a child to receive their love, comfort and emotional support. We repeat their pattern because it makes them love and shows us appreciation for the behavior. On the other hand, what we have done could be interpreted as „wrong“ and punished. Perhaps this punishment was harsh or unfair and gave us an emotional memory of pain and fear. The repetition of similar fears makes this reaction a „model of behavior.“ As a child who wants love, you will make more effort not to upset this guardian and probably repeat the action that caused the enemy punishment to „fix“ him. The result will be similar. These belief patterns can start with fear of repeated emotional memories and trauma, that fear eventually turns into anger, hostility, hatred, resentment, and we learn to respond to the suggestion. Where did the love go? You can unlearn these templates. You can look at what caused the emotion, change the way you perceive it, and get a different emotional response result for future episodes. Eventually, you will perceive it and postpone the result.
Maybe you can even go back and forgive your parents, even if they were violent, because they didn`t know anything else because of something they learned as role models. It`s like changing the past when you can look at everything and see and feel differently. .